I was less than halfway through a night of gay speed dating for “bottoms” and “tops” and had already been asked three times if I was in the right group. There were, as usual, too many bottoms! If I wanted to sail with the boys on this gay Noah’s ark, I had to maybe fib to myself a little. The event, which was held in the confines of a cavernous bar downtown, had a surprisingly large turnout. I happened to be one of the first guys to register with the organizer, and I took the opportunity to grab a beer and watch the men herd into line to register like cattle to the slaughter. There was a drizzle of uneasy laughter from the men in line.
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Nature versus nurture Certain characteristics may be innate in humans; these characteristics may be modified by the physical and social environment in which people interact. The sexual drive affects the development of personal identity and social activities. Freud believed sexual drives are instinctive.
He was a firm supporter of the nature argument; he said there are a large number of instincts but they are reduced into two broad groups: Eros the life instinct , which comprises the self-preserving and erotic instincts, and Thanatos the death instinct , which comprises instincts invoking aggression, self-destruction, and cruelty. His instinct theory said humans are driven from birth by the desire to acquire and enhance bodily pleasures, thus supporting the nature debate.
Freud redefined the term sexuality to make it cover any form of pleasure that can be derived from the human body. His developmentalist perspective was governed by inner forces, especially biological drives and maturation, and his view that humans are biologically inclined to seek sexual gratification demonstrates the nature side of the debate. Later, behaviorists would apply this notion in support of the idea that the environment is where one develops one’s sexual drives. A number of them, including neo-analytic theories, sociobiological theories, social learning theory , social role theory , and script theory , agree in predicting that men should be more approving of casual sex sex happening outside a stable, committed relationship such as marriage and should also be more promiscuous have a higher number of sexual partners than women.
These theories are mostly consistent with observed differences in males’ and females’ attitudes toward casual sex before marriage in the United States; other aspects of human sexuality, such as sexual satisfaction, incidence of oral sex , and attitudes toward homosexuality and masturbation , show little to no observed difference between males and females.
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